“you cannot develop a theory around a single set of experiences”

I intern with this lady who runs a malaria research network NGO and a gender empowerment NGO, I work mainly with the research network NGO but right now I’m organizing this seminar/workshop that I’m going to lead in early May called “Using Digital Media to Enhance Your Journalism Career” with 15 local female journalists (so it’s combining the research network/gender empowerment initiatives).

The first time I went to my internship, she was bemoaning the men in her organization saying they weren’t performing to her expectations, and then the male driver walked in carrying a soda for me to drink and dropped it on the floor everywhere. And she looked at me rolling her eyes.

She’s actually the coolest; her husband is a member of World Health Organization and is opening a med school a couple hours from here, and he wants her to move there. Her response: “He still doesn’t understand that I’m an independent woman! He wants me there so I can cook, but I work as a professor and run two NGOs and all the kids are gone.”

[Her kids by the way: older daughter doing post-doc at Yale, middle son graduating from Vanderbuilt Med School (was in S. Africa for Duke fellowship last yr) and youngest daughter freshman at Vassar (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)]

When she drove me to the trotro station in her car, we got into a more serious discussion of the role of women in the Ghanaian society-- the fact that there are so few women representatives in the government, in education etc (ONLY 29 OUT OF 275 MEMBERS OF THE GHANIAN PARLIAMENT ARE WOMEN). We were talking about Hillary Clinton and the idea that people criticize her for being not female enough but also because she is female in the first place.

We talked about the fact that the men in my adviser’s academic department don’t invite her to panels when international guests come around, or the idea that because they only have one woman on the board they think she is enough representation for the entire sex.

“You have to work 3 times as hard as a man to get the recognition you deserve,” she told me.

I constantly get so angry with friends back home or not friends back home who insist that because more women than ever are in Congress, feminism is over (~*~**~)

In my class African Women Speak (our topic this week appropriately was African and black feminism), we talked about Marissa Mayer and the entire media circus surrounding the idea that the Yahoo CEO was a woman-- the idea that a single woman depicts whether women as an entire sex could progress or fail. When she was pregnant, there was a harried media frenzy of whether she would fall flat on her face. HELLO SHE’S A CEO SHE CAN HIRE A NANNY... and the idea that we think a woman becoming CEO is such a tremendous feat when she clearly has the financial means to surpass most of her female peers.

Although the first important battle women in America fought was for voting, there are battles internationally (even still in the states but not as common) of human trafficking, a universal rape culture (aka India) and so many serious serious lethal issues that haven’t even started their discussions.

Betty Friedan, in her Feminine Mystique, in Bell Hooks’ words, was talking about upperclass white women who wanted to return to work. But what about the women who have always worked? Friedan was focusing on the housewives of America but shouldn’t the argument include the nannies of international ancestry?

And you may say that this problem doesn't exist anymore-- that the intersectionality of race and sex is perfectly adequate within feminism, but let's look at the articles that call a certain number of women (largely white, maybe even a few black) winning/doing something a feat for all womankind (?!?!)

The myths of feminism:

-that you have to be man-hating/burn bras

-that feminism=lesbianism

-that militant feminism is a bad thing --every movement in history has a certain radical sector yet radical feminists are completely feared/ostracized because most people have the internalized idea that women aren’t supposed to be angry

Certain truths of feminism:

Feminism is as much a body of thought/academic theory as it is a activism movement. Third Wave Feminism includes the notion of “but I want to raise a kid and be home.” It includes the study of how masculinity constricts manhood into a machination in which being female (“the opp of a male”) is the worst thing you can be. It’s gender issues.

So when you say you’re not a feminist or make broad statements about why the movement should not exist, you should check your single narrative and attempt to look past it.

henry david ritu

I was chatting with one of my friends from the city and I described Ghana as my “self-introspection purgatory,” to which she replied “so modern day Emerson.” To which I replied, “Ghana is my Walden."

I read that exchange to a friend I was sitting next to and:

Friend: “oh my god, I wish I had friends I could make jokes about Emerson and Thoreau with.”

Me: “Wait, doesn’t everyone at NYU do that?”

Friend: (in a ‘lol ritu what are you even saying omg’ way) “No.”

I can’t imagine a world in which people wouldn’t make collegiate “trying not to be pretentious but kind of maybe self-awarefully being pretentious” jokes about transcendentalism to each other. 

Anyway, it got me thinking about how you are so shaped and bubbled in by the people you surround yourself with. In the city, most of my friends are digital media obsessive or art oriented folk, all of whom are really different/interesting but have similar interests or fortes that tie them together.

Here, though, it’s so interesting and different being surrounded with a majority of people either a. heavily invested in or b. majoring in public health/policy, nutrition, and/or cultural studies. It’s a really strange sensation.

Most people here are so knowledgeable about things I can’t even imagine: how “secure” food is, how sustainable our food processes are, what the benefits of charter vs. traditional schooling, and other topics you probably only have a cursory knowledge about because of that one documentary you saw that one time on Netflix. In short, everyone here has a niche but also all really kind of want to change the world?

It’s been really eye-opening learning things about those current precise issues but what is even more refreshing is realizing that I even have my own niche. I’ve only now realized how crazy I sound when I speak about digital media because now I know how passionate people sound about different things.

Back in the city/at home, I’m usually so blinded by “everyone’s” knowledge of the world and penchant for archaic cultural references that I don’t realize my “everyone” isn’t everyone’s “everyone.” My friends aren’t the friends that everyone has. Even though I strongly believe that my friends are very different than each other/a good representative of the diverse population of NYU, we might be all the same to someone outside of my circle.

But along with that, I’m also realizing that my friends from home really are so passionate about what they’re passionate about and that we might actually have things to offer the world/workplace?!?!? I’ve realized that I am quite the digital media/social media/geek queen/#alt music archetype in this setting. I do prefer getting into at length conversation about my conspiracy theories about impending cloud technology crises more than (oh gosh I don’t know...) taking hikes and omg that might be frowned on in certain circles but it’s okay with me because that’s me. 

But, it’s weird that I know what’s me in the first place you know? The fact that I’m this little girl with so much more learning to do, who inexplicably finds herself in West Africa and only there does she realize what really makes her her? *young adult novel*

And so yeah I guess I understand the merit of stepping outside what you know.

-----

I’m reading a lot these days, which is so reminiscent of my elementary school days it’s nice. Read three novels last week, now reading 1Q84 (still... I know, it’s hard to get through Murakami, it’s too densely beautiful) Into the Wild, Atonement & re-reading Catch-22.

I went to Elmina Castle a couple weekends ago, which was an incredibly humbling strange experience. Visiting the largest, oldest slave castle and not being able to begin to fathom the kind of pain the building once helped facilitate... wow. I wrote a piece about it in creative writing, I’ll share it one day.

xoxoxo

thinking about yourself is confusing

Hi a week has gone by in Ghana and I wanted to discuss the topic of ~*~IDENTITY~*~

I want to discuss these parts of pertinent issues of identity to me at the moment:

1. cultural identity//ethnicity
2. national identity//nationality
3. educational identity//responsibility

I’m reading Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84 right now because people said it was a modern classic yada yada in the running for a Nobel Prize yada yada, but actually it’s really beautiful and unlike anything I’ve ever read so I am believing hype/drinking kool-aid. What I ADORE most about Murkami’s writing is that he allows his characters to pace the narration ie cursory descriptions when the protagonist is frazzled or lots of tangents when the protagonist is thinking etc etc

Not the deepest most wonderful tangent but a bellisimo tangent character Aomame goes on:

“My life would have been totally different if I hadn’t been born with this name. If I had an ordinary name like Sato or Tanaka or Suzuki, I could have lived a slightly more relaxed life or looked at people with somewhat more forgiving eyes. Perhaps.”

My name being “Ritu” in a OC/NY setting has obviously made me feel that same alienating way (esp. around substitute teachers and their love affair with “Rita”) (my dad really loved the name “Chloe” and wanted to name me that for a while which just mind boggles me like could you imagine what even a “Chloe Ghiya” would be?) and with that tangent, I started thinking about what my name says about me in the very very bare bones of it.

My name and the color of my skin and certain of my physical features, I think, very clearly denote that I’m an Indian woman. Being Indian-American isn’t something I think about a lot because idk I guess the culture instilled by my parents is so engrained in my head I don't recognize it/I don't have a lot of Indian friends at all/I don't know really at all; but this week, it’s really struck me as something I should think about. Not because of this program’s administration or participants, not because of anyone here not in any any bad way, but the fact that I have descent in another place that reminds exactly of Ghana.

Being in Ghana as an American woman (everyone calls us “white” here no matter what our actual skin tone) is completely different than the States. Men propose to us a lot with aggressive GREEN CARD HUNGRY eyes but in general, are also actually really kind and helpful in another way?!?!? It’s really confusing to all of us, so a couple people have asked me what the perception of the woman is in India, just out of curiosity.

Of course what I bring up is the recent horrific horrific Delhi gang rape case that outraged the world (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_Delhi_gang_rape_case) and how that incident is forcing India to re-evaluate their strong history of hypocritically de-valuing the “woman” while still piously treasuring maternity and femininity.

I’ve really been thinking a lot about who am I and how I’ve become this person. The intersectionality of being an American woman of Indian descent who is now living in Ghana for a few months is something I’ve been trying to wrap my head around.

My first class yesterday was a comparative lit class called “African Women Speak” which basically deals with perceptions/stereotypes of the African continent and women through the global lens and how those stereotypes are combatted in women-authored literature from the continent. The professor is FANTASTIC wow she is a queen and she said the most most insightful thing yesterday (I wrote it down it was just too perfectly dictated):

“Being a minority comes with a serious psychological issue, and some people can’t handle it so they pretend it doesn’t exist...Those with scholarship, us, it is our job to not pretend these issues don’t exist but work out the issue.”

I thought it was just so aligned with everything that’s been mulling around in my head about suddenly having a “white” American nationality in Ghana while usually being an “exotic other” Indian ethnicity in the United States. And honestly, I never feel my ethnicity being glaringly observed back home but I also feel like personally that’s also part of the problem, that I don’t realize the rich culture I come from? I’m trying to get more “Indian” so to speak by taking Hindi all next year but still I feel as though I’m really losing an integral part of my parents’ ethnicity/identity.

One of my African-American friends here said she came to Africa because she never wanted to and she felt as though she had to confront that fear. I suddenly really not only feel that way about India but also with educational/advocacy opportunities. I want to be able to say I really do know all the components and all the different places I come from AND THAT I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT/FOR IT. 

I FEEL LIKE SUCH A CHEESEBALL and I’m sorry that this isn’t even a traditional blog post which actually says what I’ve really been doing in GHANA OF ALL PLACES for the last week but all of these confusing/enlightening thoughts are something I really need to get off my chest phew

I’LL UPDATE LATER THIS WEEK ABOUT EVENTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN MY LIFE AND NOT JUST THOUGHTS

Bye bb.

I can't stop listening to this song and feeling feelings (thx Ashley)

off to ghana tomorrow

so i'm posing in front of the ghana flag and the ghana map

I'm kind of terrified but also really excited. I just downloaded anything I could find online from Pitchfork's Best of 2012 list/it actually feels kind of dumb because if I didn't listen to a lot of this music in 2012, will I really listen to it because it's in my iTunes library? [But I used to really troll music blogs in high school and I got great stuff from there so maybe this'll be beneficial I think.]

I'm really frightened though because Ghana is completely new. My mom just told me that when I went to NYU, she thought "Ritu has to fly away so I'm not going to clip her wings" and when she told me, she started tearing up and I jumped up and shrieked because I couldn't handle it and then I smothered her with unruly affection. And now while I'm typing this, my dad is asking me what the ten life-changing moments of my life have been so far (one of his is Obama winning this year bc he is the winningest liberal parent ever) and obviously, I have no idea what to tell him. My parents are getting super sentimental.

My sister is watching "Dan in Real Life" and really making fun of me because after I saw this movie in theatres circa whenever it came out, I said it was "LIFE-CHANGING" (And as I typed that last sentence, my dad just asked my sister what the movie she was watching was and she said "Ritu's life-changing movie" because it's a running family joke that I'm too sentimental and sometime/most of the time I say grandiose statements about things I like) Anyway, Sondre Lerche is playing right now because he scored this film so I am getting unduly sentimental AGAIN.

And my parents are really scared I'm running off to AFRICA of all places but they're also really excited for me. I'm going to miss them and my sisters a lot and they're going to be reading this, so "hello, I'll be back so soon please don't miss me" Recently, I've realized that I have such a supportive family and that they are all such superstars whom have shaped my humor/personality/interests/comfort levels and outlook on life so profoundly wow

Remember me as the man in this video. (Hurry boy, it's waiting there for youuUUUuuuu)

Bye. I'll update when I'm in Ghana AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(post brought to you by photobooth and seven time Grammy award-winning Toto)

((This year has just been really amazing so far what with James van der Beek realizing that I exist, 2013 will be lovely))