Hi a week has gone by in Ghana and I wanted to discuss the topic of ~*~IDENTITY~*~
I want to discuss these parts of pertinent issues of identity to me at the moment:
- cultural identity//ethnicity
- national identity//nationality
- educational identity//responsibility
I’m reading Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84 right now because people said it was a modern classic yada yada in the running for a Nobel Prize yada yada, but actually it’s really beautiful and unlike anything I’ve ever read so I am believing hype/drinking kool-aid. What I ADORE most about Murkami’s writing is that he allows his characters to pace the narration ie cursory descriptions when the protagonist is frazzled or lots of tangents when the protagonist is thinking etc etc
Not the deepest most wonderful tangent but a bellisimo tangent character Aomame goes on:
“My life would have been totally different if I hadn’t been born with this name. If I had an ordinary name like Sato or Tanaka or Suzuki, I could have lived a slightly more relaxed life or looked at people with somewhat more forgiving eyes. Perhaps.”
My name being “Ritu” in a OC/NY setting has obviously made me feel that same alienating way (esp. around substitute teachers and their love affair with “Rita”) (my dad really loved the name “Chloe” and wanted to name me that for a while which just mind boggles me like could you imagine what even a “Chloe Ghiya” would be?) and with that tangent, I started thinking about what my name says about me in the very very bare bones of it.
My name and the color of my skin and certain of my physical features, I think, very clearly denote that I’m an Indian woman. Being Indian-American isn’t something I think about a lot because idk I guess the culture instilled by my parents is so engrained in my head I don't recognize it/I don't have a lot of Indian friends at all/I don't know really at all; but this week, it’s really struck me as something I should think about. Not because of this program’s administration or participants, not because of anyone here not in any any bad way, but the fact that I have descent in another place that reminds exactly of Ghana.
Being in Ghana as an American woman (everyone calls us “white” here no matter what our actual skin tone) is completely different than the States. Men propose to us a lot with aggressive GREEN CARD HUNGRY eyes but in general, are also actually really kind and helpful in another way?!?!? It’s really confusing to all of us, so a couple people have asked me what the perception of the woman is in India, just out of curiosity.
Of course what I bring up is the recent horrific horrific Delhi gang rape case that outraged the world (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_Delhi_gang_rape_case) and how that incident is forcing India to re-evaluate their strong history of hypocritically de-valuing the “woman” while still piously treasuring maternity and femininity.
I’ve really been thinking a lot about who am I and how I’ve become this person. The intersectionality of being an American woman of Indian descent who is now living in Ghana for a few months is something I’ve been trying to wrap my head around.
My first class yesterday was a comparative lit class called “African Women Speak” which basically deals with perceptions/stereotypes of the African continent and women through the global lens and how those stereotypes are combatted in women-authored literature from the continent. The professor is FANTASTIC wow she is a queen and she said the most most insightful thing yesterday (I wrote it down it was just too perfectly dictated):
“Being a minority comes with a serious psychological issue, and some people can’t handle it so they pretend it doesn’t exist...Those with scholarship, us, it is our job to not pretend these issues don’t exist but work out the issue.”
I thought it was just so aligned with everything that’s been mulling around in my head about suddenly having a “white” American nationality in Ghana while usually being an “exotic other” Indian ethnicity in the United States. And honestly, I never feel my ethnicity being glaringly observed back home but I also feel like personally that’s also part of the problem, that I don’t realize the rich culture I come from? I’m trying to get more “Indian” so to speak by taking Hindi all next year but still I feel as though I’m really losing an integral part of my parents’ ethnicity/identity.
One of my African-American friends here said she came to Africa because she never wanted to and she felt as though she had to confront that fear. I suddenly really not only feel that way about India but also with educational/advocacy opportunities. I want to be able to say I really do know all the components and all the different places I come from AND THAT I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT/FOR IT.
I FEEL LIKE SUCH A CHEESEBALL and I’m sorry that this isn’t even a traditional blog post which actually says what I’ve really been doing in GHANA OF ALL PLACES for the last week but all of these confusing/enlightening thoughts are something I really need to get off my chest phew
I’LL UPDATE LATER THIS WEEK ABOUT EVENTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN MY LIFE AND NOT JUST THOUGHTS
Bye bb.
I can't stop listening to this song and feeling feelings (thx Ashley)
